oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
