I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
