Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
