Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
