Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
