That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
