Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
its liver damage thursday
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