I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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