How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
