C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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