Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
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Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
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I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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