I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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