took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
