I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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