Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
