Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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