i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
