Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
