God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
