Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
third nipple confirmed
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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