i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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