Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
