Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
