So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
