She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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