Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
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you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
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all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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