time to smoke my breakfast
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Hippo gnu deer
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
