I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
sick fucks of a feather flock together
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
