your thong is hanging out like whoa
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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