I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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