We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
