Heybabeimwearingurpanties
4 words: hood of his car
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
