im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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