Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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