she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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