Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
