Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
