I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
