I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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