I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
