In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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