he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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