38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
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But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
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I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Enjoy the penises
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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