He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
