Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
