The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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