How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
