her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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