Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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