Where are you?
In a non slutty way
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
