so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
