he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
