i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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