whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
