I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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