my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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