Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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