She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
