great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
